“How To Make Your Coach Feel Like An AssHole…”

Well…

The Last “Normal” Week Of 2018 Was Anything But That…

I Never Once Went To Medical Or “Sick Call” My 4+ Years In The Marine Corps… Only Time Was When It Was Mandatory For Annual Check Ups/Vaccines/Dental Stuff…. Or Right Before We Deployed… Or When Our Commander Would Decide To Make The Entire Unit Waste A Whole Freakin’ Day Standing Around Waiting To Piss In A Cup For A Random Drug Test…

During My 2+ As A Personal Trainer @ LA Fitness… I Had To Call Of Sick Once… I Actually Went In… And The Manager Made Me Go Home…

I Vividly Remember Taking A Week Off From CrossFit Riverside To Visit My GrandParents In New Mexico (It Was A Christmas Gift From Danielley…)

At RC CrossFit, Coach Ivan & I Had Each Other’s Backs… So If We “Needed” Some Time Off… We Would Take Some… But… The Way Our Schedule’s Worked… I Never Really Needed Time Off To Do Anything Personal… I Was Out For A Few Days With A Bad Case Of Rhabdo… Out For A Week Or So When I Jacked Up My Leg… And Then Out For A Few Weeks When I Ended Up In The Hospital For Some Serious Stuff…

Other Than That… I Don’t Like Taking Sick Days…

Believe It Or Not… I LOVE WHAT I DO!!!

So When This Thing Hit Me This Past Week… You Know It Had To Be Bad…

Not That You Need To Know… So If You Don’t Want Any Details… You Can Skip This Next Part…

Felt A Little Funky Last Sunday Night… But… Nothing To Shake Me Up… Monday Was OK… Tuesday Morning… Felt Fine… Worked Out 4 Times Before The Lunch Break… Ate A Big Ol’ Turkey Sandwich For Lunch Around 1:45PM… Felt Fine… Got To The Station… Felt A Lil’ Different… Coughs Were Becoming More Consistent & Sounding Grosser & Grosser Every Time… Then I Felt Nauseous… But No Puking… No Appetite… After Last Class… I Was Done & I Knew It But Didn’t Want To Believe It… Once I Got Home… That’s When All Hell Broke Loose… I Tried To Suck It Up & Coach The Wednesday 5AM… Which I Did… & I Didn’t Like How It Went… I Couldn’t Coach To The Best Of My Abilities… I Had To Stand… NO… SIT… On The Other Side Of The Station While The Class Warmed Up/Worked Out… Didn’t Like It!!! Luckily The Ladies In That Class Are Pretty Experienced So Not To Much Technical Or “Hands On” Stuff Needed To Be Taught… But I Was Feeling Dizzy & Very Nauseous… Called It Quits For The Next 2 Classes & Thought I’d Try The 12:15PM… Felt Super Dizzy Driving Back To The Station @ 11:30AM… Knew It Was A Bad Idea… Pretty Much “Coached” The 12:15PM Class The Same Way I Did With The 5AM… Made It Through That Then Panicked & Thought “What The Hell Am I Going To Do For The PM?!?!” Well… As Some Of You Saw… I Just Had To Sit Back & Watch… Sat In The Corner… And Thank God For Melissa, Nykki & Danielley (Who Even Took Over The 5AM & 6AM The Rest Of The Week) Who Helped Coach The PM Classes!!! Every Night I’d Go Home Thinking “The Worst Is Over… I’ll Be Ready Tomorrow!!!” Every Night I’d Fall Asleep In Some Sweatpants & A Hoodie Freezing… Only To Have To Change Clothes 4 Times A Night Because I’d Wake Up Soaking Wet In Sweat… Pretty Much Went On That Way Until… Well… I’m Writing This Saturday @ 10AM… And Since You’re All Now Caught Up To The “Live” Version… I Also Haven’t Eaten Anything Since Tuesday @ 1:45PM… I’m Feeling “Better”… Only 1/2 Dieing Instead Of 3/4 Dieing… I’m Hoping That Staying Home ALL Day Yesterday & ALL Day Today Will Do Me Good…

Tomorrow (Monday, Christmas Eve!!!) We Will Still Hold Our Annual “12 Day’s Of Christmas WOD”!!! I’m Not Working Out… But I’ll Be There In My Little Corner Cheering You Ladies & Gents On!!!

If I Don’t Make Too Much Chit Chat With You… I Swear… I’m Not Mad At You!!! I Just Don’t Want To Be The Person To Ruin Christmas With Your Family!!! So I’ll Stay Far Away From You…

Which Brings Me To The Original Title Of This Post…

“How To Make Your Coach Feel Like An AssHole…”

Step 1…

Timing Is Key!!!

You Gotta Make Sure Your Coach Is Sick… Like… Really F–Kin’ Sick! Like… “Where’s Coach Been?” Sick!! Like… “Is Coach Still Alive?!?!” Sick!!!

Step 2…

When You Do See Your Coach… And As He’s Huddled Up In The Corner… Tell Him How Amazing He His & How Much You Appreciate Everything He Does For You… Make Sure To Include Christmas/Thank You/Get Well Soon Cards… Christmas Cookies/Candies… Maybe Even A Gift Certificate For A Fancy Mini Vacay…

Step 3…

Refer To Step 1…

Remember… Only Do This When Your Coach Is So Sick That When You Say All These Nice Things To Him… He Can’t Even Say Them Back Because He Either Can’t Stop Coughing Or Just Has No Voice Left… Also… The Sicker He Is… The Further Away He’ll Want To Be From You So There’s No Chance For A Proper “Thank You” Hug/HandShake…

And There Ya Have It…

Again… Crazy/Annoying Week…

All “Sickness” Aside… Some Amazing WODs All Week!!! Whether I Had To Watch From A Far Or Get Brought Up To Speed Once Danielley Came Home… Great Work!!!

And It Looks Like We Have A New RainCross Original WOD…

The “Naughty & Nice List” WOD…

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And Again… Thank All Of You For Understanding… And Thanks To All My “Coaches”…

Enjoy Your Sunday & Hope To See A Lot Of You Monday Morning!!! Just In Case You Forgot… The 12 Day’s Of Christmas WOD Is Not A Team WOD… It’s A “Just You” WOD!!!

Tuesday We’re Closed…

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ALRIGHT… HERE WE GO!!!

Active Rest Day… Get Out & Get Those Last Min Christmas Gifts!!!

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3…2…1…GO!!!

Mando